In the relationship between dom and sub, the mistress takes the dominant part towards the submissive sub. Her role can be varied and depends mainly on the individual arrangements and preferences of the relationship. The following are some general dynamics and specific examples of possible roles of the Mistress.
Rules, limits and procedure
Both set possible limits and define preferences that may be lived out. The mistress determines on the basis of this a more precise procedure and rules that the sub must comply with. Failure to comply is associated with consequences. Roughly speaking, there are three different levels of how farrechend the BDSM relationship is lived out. However, each relationship is unique and individual. Just as unique as the different preferences that two different people have. This always results in special dynamics.
1. BDSM inside the bedroom
The BDSM relationship take place only in bed. Beyond that, everything is as usual with two parts with the same rights and rules. She takes control in bed and also determines when activities take place in bed. The sub bows to the specifications of the mistress.
2. Also outside the bedroom
The BDSM process also extends to outside the bed. This can be very individual, but conceivable would be, for example, the completion of household tasks over which the mistress determines. Or fixed rules that must be followed by the sub, such as addressing the mistress by her title, as long as no third person is present. Outwardly and also partially when being by themselves, the relationship is normal.
3. 24/7 female led relationship
This is the extreme form of the relationship between mistress and sub. The mistress takes full control 24/7 and this can also be seen on the outside. The mistress determines about almost everything, but at least about everything she wants to determine. The sub allows her unlimited control. This also means that she manages all finances and the sub needs permission for almost everything, including his leisure activities. But this can all be regulated individually, because every relationship is unique.
Education and training
Depending on the dynamics and preferences that are lived out, the mistress takes over the education or training of the sub. In a relationship where the sub takes on the role of Sissy, Sissy training is very common. The mistress teaches the Sissy thereby female behavior patterns, how a woman makes up and which clothes he must carry around like a woman to look. The sub must learn certain procedures, which the mistress considers important for him.
Reward and punishment
For good performance and willingness to do what the sub is told, the mistress may hold out the prospect of certain rewards. These can be special sexual favors like a blowjob or in a chastity relationship, an orgasm. Praise is also an effective way to reward the sub. On the other hand, punishment can also play an important role. There is playful punishment, which is only fake punishment, because the sub actually enjoys it. For example, this can be spanking. In contrast, a real punishment can be the temporary disregard of the sub. Or activities that he really does not like.
Care and safety
At the end of the game and also during it, the important task of the mistress is to keep the care. It is her task to pay attention to certain signs of the sub and, if necessary, to pause the game immediately. For example, if the sub panics while he is tied up. To better distinguish whether it is part of the game or serious reality, it is therefore also important to make a safeword, which the sub can utter at any time and signals to the mistress that it must be paused immediately. In a spanking session, it’s often hard to tell if the sub’s cries of pain are signaling that it’s too much for him or if he’s just really enjoying it, especially if the relationship isn’t old and the other person’s signals aren’t perfectly understood.
Communication is something that affects the mistress but basically both parts equally. Wishes, limits and concerns must always be communicated. It is important to know how the other person feels and to know about open wishes. Poor communication leads to misunderstandings and misunderstood desires. After new practices, there should also be a debriefing to talk about what both liked, what may not have been so nice.